This feeling of unworthiness occurs anytime we feel we can’t do something we should be able to do. The challenge, of course, is that often we have a completely unfair rule for determining whether we’re inadequate or not. First, understand the message inadequacy is giving you.
The message is that you don’t presently have a level of skill necessary for the task at hand. It’s telling you that you need more information, understanding, strategies, tools or confidence.
1) Simply ask yourself, “Is this really an appropriate emotion for me to feel in this situation? Am I really inadequate, or do I have to change the way I’m perceiving things?” Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that in order to feel adequate, you have to go out on the dance floor and outdo Michael Jackson. This is probably an inappropriate perception.
If your feeling is justified, the message of inadequacy is that you need to find a way to do something better than you’ve done it before.
The solution in this case is also obvious:
2) Whenever you feel inadequate, appreciate the encouragement to improve. Remind yourself that you’re not “perfect,” and that you don’t need to be. With this realization, you can begin to feel adequate the moment you decide to commit yourself to CANI!™—constant and never-ending improvement in this area.
3) Find a role model—someone who’s effective in the area in which you feel inadequate—and get some coaching from them. Just the process of deciding to master this area of your life and making even the smallest amount of progress will turn a person who’s inadequate into a person who’s learning. This emotion is critical, because when someone feels inadequate, they tend to fall into the trap of learned helplessness, and they begin to see the problem as being a permanent one with themselves. There’s no greater lie you could tell yourself. You’re not inadequate. You may be untrained or unskilled in a particular area, but you’re not inadequate. The capability for greatness in anything is within you even now.
Tony Robbins. “Awaken the Giant Within.”