Angry emotions include everything from being mildly irritated to being angry, resentful, furious, or even enraged.
The message of anger is that an important rule or standard that you hold for your life has been violated by someone else, or maybe even by you. When you get the message of anger, you need to understand that you can literally change this emotion in a moment.
1) Realize that you may have misinterpreted the situation completely, that your anger about this person breaking your rules may be based on the fact that they don’t know what’s most important to you (even though you believe they should).
2) Realize that even if a person did violate one of your standards, your rules are not necessarily the “right” rules, even though you feel as strongly as you do about them.
3) Ask yourself a more empowering question like “In the long run, is it true that this person really cares about me?” Interrupt the anger by asking yourself, “What can I learn from this? How can I communicate the importance of these standards I hold for myself to this person in a way that causes them to want to help me, and not violate my standards again in the future?”
For example, if you’re angry, change your perception—maybe this person really didn’t know your rules. Or change your procedure—maybe you didn’t effectively communicate your real needs. Or change your behavior—tell people up front, for example, “Hey, this is private. Please promise me you won’t share this with anybody; it’s really important to me.”
Tony Robbins. “Awaken the Giant Within.”