So often people feel so overloaded they don’t even know what they’re feeling. All they know is that they’re being “attacked” by all these negative emotions and feelings.
Instead of feeling overloaded, step back for a moment and ask yourself, “What am I really feeling right now?” If you think at first, “I’m feeling angry,” begin to ask yourself, “Am I really feeling angry? Or is it something else? Maybe what I’m really feeling is hurt. Or I feel like I’ve lost out on something.” Realize that a feeling of hurt or a feeling of loss is not as intense as the feeling of anger. Just in taking a moment to identify what you’re really feeling, and beginning to question your emotions, you may be able to lower the emotional intensity you’re experiencing, and therefore deal with the situation much more quickly and easily.
If, for example, you say, “Right now I feel rejected,” you might ask yourself, “Am I feeling rejected, or am I feeling a sense of separation from a person I love? Am I feeling rejected, or am I feeling disappointed? Am I feeling rejected, or am I feeling a little uncomfortable?” Remember the power of Transformational Vocabulary to immediately lower your intensity. Again, as you identify what you’re really feeling, you can lower the intensity even more, which makes it much easier to learn from the emotion.
Tony Robbins. “Awaken the Giant Within.”